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07 April 2009 @ 07:16 pm
So much has changed, except, well, not really.

I'm trying once again to become a selfless person. This time I have determination. I plan on getting rid of my possessions, becoming celibate, and joining a monastery. Maybe not the last one.

While me posting this to lj might seem selfish, in that I'm seemingly seeking approval for my actions, it really isn't like that; I'm posting to chronicle these events for people of the future to look at and learn from. Perhaps if everyone were more selfless, things would change, for the better? I really don't know.
Current Music: The Crane Wife Pt. 3--The Decemberists
A recent conversation, in case you couldn't read the title of this, that distressed me was as follows:

Person A: I think Luke is the nicer one in the relationship.
Me: Really?
A: Yeah, you're not really nice.
Me: ...
A: I mean, you're funny. You're just not that nice.
Me: I think I'm pretty nice.
A: ...
Me: Wait, I'm not nice?

I honestly don't understand. I used to be one of the nicest people I knew. Obviously things have changed and all, but still! I guess that person does have a point though. I've definitely become more honest and "mean"-er over the past few years (I blame it on the public school influence), but I'd still like to think that I'm nicer than the average Joe Shmoe on the street, you know?

I think the worst part of the past few weeks, though, is when my mom started confronting me and saying things like "I think you have self-esteem issues." The thing is, I hate things like "issues." Issues are easy, they're prescribable, understandable. I feel like so often real life is so much more complicated than these stupid "issues." Which, by the way, I do not have any of. Just in case you were wondering.
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Yummy Yummy Yummy--The Ohio Express
Sometimes people take advantage of me. And by "sometimes" I mean "tonight."
Current Mood: chipperchipper
24 April 2007 @ 12:24 am
these things simply CAN NOT just be a coincidence!! it just isn't one of "those things." these things don't just "happen"

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(if you don't understand what i'm talking about, look at http://uisforutah.livejournal.com/2006/04/22/ )
Current Music: devotchka
04 February 2007 @ 09:26 pm
Dav Dav David Brown
He's the greatest guy in all of the town.
Dav Dav David Brown
He'll pick you up when your feeling down.
Dav Dav David Brown
It'd be too bad if he were to drown.
Dav Dav David Brown
He's like a jewish rooftop clown
Dav Dav David Brown
He'll turn that frown right upside down!
Dav Dav David Brown
He gets his pets stragit from the pound
Dav Dav David Brown
And his clothes are from the Lost & Found
Dav Dav David Brown
He's the coolest cat from all around!
Current Location: behr?
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: M.I.A.
i've come to realize that i make a lot of mistakes in my life. and sometimes my brash and brazen nature makes it hard for me to apologize. i guess i need to learn how to do that...

but anyway, the point of this was to reveal that:

a) the playwrites(rights? sp?) project inspired me to write a play of my own, and this time it's different. you see, no longer will my characters be 4-6 weeks from death. no, this time it's going to be a farcical comedy about the play itself. a la "Six Characters in Search of an Author", there will be a set of characters trying to be in a play themselves, commenting on inner monologues throughout the way. and one of them is a promiscous half-sister of the other. ooh! indeed.

b)i've decided on the first line for my paperback novel (the last line, of course, is "and maria cristina had the strongest orgasm she ever had.) it is "whenever we moved, my parents would never let us out of the house until we could memorize our address, zip code and all. after the 5th time, it got a bit easier.
Current Mood: bouncyhope-less
Current Music: dar?
28 November 2006 @ 07:02 pm
begins NOW!
If you want to know the last secret I told, you can ask Samantha Riley. Because she was the last! The very last! I swear.
Current Music: Ed Harcourt
27 November 2006 @ 10:57 pm
A Poem

When you have a dream
And in it, your best friend dies
Does it mean anything?

[edit: 12-18-06 It took me nearly a month to realize that this wasn't a haiku, as I had thought it was...]
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: Bat Boy Soundtrack
26 November 2006 @ 07:58 pm
A Poem

Sometimes, late at night, on facebook
I casually look at my list of friends
Poring through page
Seeing which ones I actually,
talk to. (answer: not a lot)
But anyway,
occasionally I will hover over some boy's name,
forgetting where I knew him
Eyeing some girl's picture and trying to place her:
Was it freshman biology? Did we meet at someone's 16th birthday party?
Did we sit next to each other on the shuttle one day?
Mayhap we were assigned to perform a scene in spanish together and I,
being to lazy to take down an email, or phone number, called out,
"Oh, don't worry, I'll facebook you."
When I look at these long lists of friend after friend,
My mouse hovers over the "remove" button
Honestly, it gives me some sort of
tittilating joy, knowing the power that I have over one person's life
Friend? Or no friend?
It's a difficult dillema, a perplexing puzzle, if you will,
deciding one's social life.
But then again, we all know:
Facebook is for losers.

(edit 7:33pm--i'm going to make this a facebook note. so everyone there can read it)
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: Mr. Jones--Counting Crows (probably the best pop song ever)
10 November 2006 @ 02:39 am
I get really offended when people aren't up as late as I am!! Literally. I get really offended.
Current Mood: angryoffended
Current Music: White Stripes